Yus! Got it. The mockery is over.

I can make it on my own.

Every silver lining has a cloud

So, living on my own agrees with me. Being able to come home late without disturbing anyone is all good, as is getting to choose what's in the fridge, and having a garage for my car, and getting to play my music loud. It's also grand fun going through all the supermarket brochures looking for the bargains, even though I can't even afford bargains for the rest of this week. Yesterday I didn't see a single human being, and it was just fine. Not that I dislike people, obviously, but the hermit lifestyle has always had a certain appeal. Didn't even leave the house yesterday except to check the mail. Means I don't have to wear make-up, and could stay in my PJs all day if I wanted (which I don't). What with the telephone and texting and, to some extent, the internet (though it's a bit dodgy at the house I'm at), one is never really alone even when one is alone.

So, the downside? I was really looking forward to having Indian last night but I couldn't open the jar... and there's just nothing you can do about that. Stuffed up my thumb in the attempt :( And now the jar is just sitting on the shelf, looking appealing, and staring at me with a mocking expression. (Is it a sign of madness to personify a jar of butter chicken sauce? Nah.)

J'essay

Phrases that are useful in essays for getting marks despite shoddy scholarship:

• 'I hold it as self-evident that...' (= 'Please charitably disregard the fact that I can't back this up')
• 'It is beyond the scope of this essay to enter into the debate regarding...' (='It is not in the interests of my being able to say the subtle and clever things I have taken up half an hour of your time saying, to enter into a debate that I am fully aware would show them up as irrelevant')
• 'It has often been noted that...' (='I read somewhere but can't be bothered looking through my notes for the reference')
• 'I think it is fair to say that...' (='Go on, indulge me')
• '...to a significant degree...' (='to some degree between completely and not at all, depending on how hard you think about it')
• 'It is worth noting that...' (='I can't really establish the relevance of this point to my argument, but it's quite clever and makes me look smart, and uses up more words.')

Man it would be funny to actually submit an essay in which I said what I really mean, and admitted the flaws in my own logic. I wonder what the marker would think. What, after all, is the purpose of philosophy - to persuade people that you are right/knowledgeable, or to toss around ideas? The art of persuasion, as Socrates so often pointed out, is mere sophistry, while admitting ones ignorance is quite often an indication of clear thinking.

It would also be fun, in an English essay, to say, "Actually I don't think this book is particularly 'important' or that, just because he has written a book I have been asked to discuss, the author particularly deserves to be elevated above common humanity by my use of language. However, I really enjoyed the book (except for that corny part in chapter 8), and reading it has been a somewhat significant experience in my life; this is the way it made me feel: ..."

I've also wondered if I would be capable of writing a philosophy essay in iambic pentameter. Philosophy suffers from being too prosaic, I think (with the exception of Socrates, who inserts the odd line of poetry, and, I understand, Nietzsche, though I've not read him yet). Considering that, as Andrew pointed out here, people's application of reason is inextricably linked with their emotions, I think there's plenty of scope within philosophy for beauty of phrase and evocative language. It would be a way of expressing the fact that, however much we claim to be relying on 'pure reason', ultimately we say what we say because we have some interest in 'proving' it to be so - possibly just because we like the idea.

Well that's enough procrastinating. Back to prostituting my mind for the sake of good marks again.

Death by Machine Gunning for Renegade Sunbathers

Came across the following amidst my reading for one of my 'ethics of punishment' essays. I'm pretty sure the guy's serious. James, you might like this one :)

"[T]he sheriff of a small town where the courthouse lawn is trespassed upon by five hundred sitting sunbathers need not restrict himself to force proportionate to the wrong of trespassing in order to remove the trespassers. Nor need he restrict himself to the least force sufficient to remove them. He might, for example, be able to carry them off bodily through extreme physical exertion on his part, or by severe depletion fo the town's budget to hire deputies to carry them. But he need not choose these minimally harmful (to the trespassers) options. He may, instead, place a machine gun on the roof of the courthouse, inform the sunbathers that the machine gun is programmed to begin spraying the lawn in five minutes, and leave. [...] Once the trespassers have been warned (the notice principle), and because they have no right to be trespassing in the first place (the wrongful act principle), they have no right to demand proportional response if that is more costly in terms of other values. Moreover, if the sheriff can set up the automatic machine gun, then conceivably it would follow that he could man the machine gun; and if he could man the machine gun, then it would seem to follow that the town council could pass a new trespass ordinance mandating death by machine gunning as the punishment (to become effective at at time when the trespassers have had notice of the new ordinance and a reasonable time to get off the lawn)."

-Lawrence Alexander, 'The Doomsday Machine:
Proportionality, Punishment and Prevention'.

Some Things That Are Good

1. Ben Harper. The more I hear the more I love. And you can read that in both possible senses.
2. Massive Attack's album, Mezzanine. Getting kinda on the old side now but awesome for listening to in the small hours. Yeah. Still good.
3. The book of C.S. Lewis essays I bought the other day on the subjects of 'Faith, Christianity and the Church.' I've never before come across a book whose contents page brought me to tears. The essays have titles like 'Is Theology Poetry?', 'What are we to make of Jesus Christ?', 'Is Theism Important?', 'We have no 'Right to Happiness', 'The conditions for a
   just war' - and interesting stuff like that :)
4. The lyrics to Pink Floyd's album, The Piper at the Gates of Dawn. Not sure what, uh, creativity-enhancing substances these guys were partaking of at the time of writing this stuff (something like 1967 I think), and they're probably full of sinister hidden meanings and things (though of course you know I'm not one to read into things...:P) but anyhow they make me laugh. Check this out:

From 'Bike:

I've got a bike. You can ride it if you like.
It's got a basket, a bell that rings
and things to make it look good
I'd give it to you if I could, but I borrowed it.

I know a mouse, and he hasn't got a house
I don't know why I call him Gerald.
He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.

I've got a clan of gingerbread men.
Here a man, there a man, lots of gingerbread men.
Take a couple if you wish. They're on the dish.

From 'Chapter 24':

All movement is accomplished in six stages
And the seventh brings return.
The seven is the number of the young light;
It forms when darkness is increased by one.

And my personal favourite, 'The Gnome':

I want to tell you a story
'bout a little man if I can.
A gnome named Grimble Gromble.
And little gnomes stay in their homes,
Eating, sleeping, drinking their wine.

He wore a scarlet tunic,
A blue-green hood, it looked quite good.
He had a big adventure
amidst the grass, fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time

...And then one day...Hooray!
Another way for gnomes to say"Ooh my"

Look at the sky, look at the river.
Isn't it good?
Look at the sky, look at the river.
Isn't it good?
Winding, finding places to go.

...And then one day...Hooray!
Another way for gnomes to say "Ooh my" "Ooh my..."

*

So yeah. That's what's been keeping me entertained amidst my study the last few days. Hurrah for my brother going to Europe and leaving behind his vast CD collection for my listening pleasure! (uh, not that I'm glad he's gone... it's just that the perks are quite good)

Million dollar idea

Someone needs to invent, like, the equivalent of a home pregnancy test, but for madness. You know, something that glows blue if you have a healthy dose of madness, purple if you're seriously eccentric, and red if you're completely off your rocker. Then I could find out whether what I sometimes suspect is true, without having to watch and wait to see if I start developing crazy twitches or other such symptoms. Also if I am mad, it would be great for if I wanted to commit any heinous crimes - I could totally get away with it, just by pleading insanity. Yus.

Another side bonus would be, I could try adopting in turn each of the 4 or 5 worldviews between which I am currently oscillating (rather frantically and at an increasing rate, churning up a great deal of mental dust in my wake), and take the test for each one. Then I could just choose the paradigm that involved the least amount of insanity.

Although...on second thoughts, chances are the most comfortable, mentally placatory paradigm will be the least connected with reality. So the one that spins me out the most and requires the greatest feat of intellectual acrobatics to comprehend - or better yet, the one I don't comprehend at all - is the way to go.

I think I need a hug. And possibly some form of sedative. Or maybe just a mindless, menial, minimum wage job to help me keep my mind within a safe, constrained sphere (not to say padded cell) of operation. Luckily my qualifications will probably come in handy for this...

Just curious

If you read this post, could you please leave a comment? And obviously include your name if you don't have a blogger account and use the 'anonymous' option. Just wondering who's reading this these days, since comments have been a little sparse recently so I can't tell. Ta.

Joke of the week

Extract from an episode of 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie'

John: You've a daughter, haven't you?
Peter: Yes, Henrietta.
John: Did he, did he? I'm sorry to hear that.