J'essay

Phrases that are useful in essays for getting marks despite shoddy scholarship:

• 'I hold it as self-evident that...' (= 'Please charitably disregard the fact that I can't back this up')
• 'It is beyond the scope of this essay to enter into the debate regarding...' (='It is not in the interests of my being able to say the subtle and clever things I have taken up half an hour of your time saying, to enter into a debate that I am fully aware would show them up as irrelevant')
• 'It has often been noted that...' (='I read somewhere but can't be bothered looking through my notes for the reference')
• 'I think it is fair to say that...' (='Go on, indulge me')
• '...to a significant degree...' (='to some degree between completely and not at all, depending on how hard you think about it')
• 'It is worth noting that...' (='I can't really establish the relevance of this point to my argument, but it's quite clever and makes me look smart, and uses up more words.')

Man it would be funny to actually submit an essay in which I said what I really mean, and admitted the flaws in my own logic. I wonder what the marker would think. What, after all, is the purpose of philosophy - to persuade people that you are right/knowledgeable, or to toss around ideas? The art of persuasion, as Socrates so often pointed out, is mere sophistry, while admitting ones ignorance is quite often an indication of clear thinking.

It would also be fun, in an English essay, to say, "Actually I don't think this book is particularly 'important' or that, just because he has written a book I have been asked to discuss, the author particularly deserves to be elevated above common humanity by my use of language. However, I really enjoyed the book (except for that corny part in chapter 8), and reading it has been a somewhat significant experience in my life; this is the way it made me feel: ..."

I've also wondered if I would be capable of writing a philosophy essay in iambic pentameter. Philosophy suffers from being too prosaic, I think (with the exception of Socrates, who inserts the odd line of poetry, and, I understand, Nietzsche, though I've not read him yet). Considering that, as Andrew pointed out here, people's application of reason is inextricably linked with their emotions, I think there's plenty of scope within philosophy for beauty of phrase and evocative language. It would be a way of expressing the fact that, however much we claim to be relying on 'pure reason', ultimately we say what we say because we have some interest in 'proving' it to be so - possibly just because we like the idea.

Well that's enough procrastinating. Back to prostituting my mind for the sake of good marks again.