Help!

I am not coping. Well I am, but just barely at times.

I hate the person I suddenly seem to have become, or suddenly seem to look like to others.

I hate people being hurt because of me.

I hate the fact that having the best of intentions seems to have little or no correlation to the way things turn out, and that life is not so simple as I thought, and that I'm going to have to grow up and change, again.

I hate the way I can't stop thinking about it all, and the way I'm so good at keeping on smiling and doing normal stuff (sometimes) when I feel like c*@p and I know it's just a facade.

I hate having to ask for help when everyone's got problems of their own, and when in a lot of ways I'm getting sick of talking about it all, and when there's nothing to be done anyway.

I hate the fact that this post is overstated and just feeding my unhappiness, and that I'm posting it anyway, and that I'm one of those irrational women who do things they know are stupid.

*

Only don't help this weekend because I'll be out of town. Or in fact after that because I have masses of work to do.

More love to all.