On Emotional Manipulation
So, this morning at church I did some rather nice playing in the nice emotive final song, which is very piano-y. If I'm being a nice Christian girl I could say I was 'playing in the spirit'. Alternatively I could say I was working the mood.
Everyone in the congregation got really into it. There was hardly an open eye or a non-raised hand in the place, from what I could see.
It's an odd feeling, being somewhat in control of the mood of a whole room full of a couple of hundred people. I say 'somewhat', of course, because I realise there's slightly more to it, but it's certainly the case that if I had played crap, or really inappropriately, people would not have responded the way they did. And it's weird seeing the rise and fall of people's emotions as one changes the tone of one's playing. Like pulling strings. It really did feel that way. (Not just me obviously - the rest of the band too; but there's certainly a sense in which any member of the band can change the tone and the rest will follow - our band being reasonably tight and good like that.)
These thoughts were going through my head as I was playing. (Oh Katherine how unspiritual of you.) I felt kinda sneaky. Like they were all being duped into thinking they were 'experiencing God' when it was just the nice string sound I was using. (Oh you heretic.)
But then I thought, why not just go with it? Even if it's somewhat manufactured (if one wants to be cynical), nonetheless good stuff was probably happening in people's hearts, as a result of what I was doing. And it's not like I or the band can actually *make* people open their hearts; we can just create an environment in which they are free to if they wish.
So I did. Went with it, that is.
Still felt funny though. Often does. (Jason please don't fire me from the band.)
Everyone in the congregation got really into it. There was hardly an open eye or a non-raised hand in the place, from what I could see.
It's an odd feeling, being somewhat in control of the mood of a whole room full of a couple of hundred people. I say 'somewhat', of course, because I realise there's slightly more to it, but it's certainly the case that if I had played crap, or really inappropriately, people would not have responded the way they did. And it's weird seeing the rise and fall of people's emotions as one changes the tone of one's playing. Like pulling strings. It really did feel that way. (Not just me obviously - the rest of the band too; but there's certainly a sense in which any member of the band can change the tone and the rest will follow - our band being reasonably tight and good like that.)
These thoughts were going through my head as I was playing. (Oh Katherine how unspiritual of you.) I felt kinda sneaky. Like they were all being duped into thinking they were 'experiencing God' when it was just the nice string sound I was using. (Oh you heretic.)
But then I thought, why not just go with it? Even if it's somewhat manufactured (if one wants to be cynical), nonetheless good stuff was probably happening in people's hearts, as a result of what I was doing. And it's not like I or the band can actually *make* people open their hearts; we can just create an environment in which they are free to if they wish.
So I did. Went with it, that is.
Still felt funny though. Often does. (Jason please don't fire me from the band.)
posted by Kat | 9/17/2006 10:36:00 pm
3 Comments:
I want to write something that would contribute to this, but I'm no less confused than you. So I'm going to just write something.
Perhaps part of it is about feeling good towards God? So then manipulating people into feeling good does enable them to worship?
Manipulation is such a relative word anyway. Whatever we do is going to have an effect on people, emotional or otherwise. Is it manipulation to recognize this relationship, and use it for their own betterment?
Hm, re-reading my post it looks terribly arrogant. That's the thing about cynicism. I'm sure you're right; I'm overplaying the amount we do and underplaying the amount the congregation does.
It's just unfortunate, perhaps, that when one responds to God in an emotional setting, one may be inclined to look back at the experience later on and wonder if it was all in your own mind. I suppose the same could be said for romantic dates and things that make you feel all warm and fuzzy towards someone, but aren't necessarily the best indicator of the stability of the relationship.
Though to extend that analogy, it must be admitted that romantic dates often do a lot of good for a relationship, even if they're somewhat insubstantial in themselves.
In any case, like romance, emotional music is a lot of fun, and I like it, and find it helps me respond to God as much as the next person :)
Came across this article not long after reading your post:
http://www.founders.org/FJ30/article2.html
Been reflecting on how much emphasis I put on my role in drawing people to God, rather than him being the one who sovereignly does the work.
Article's a bit wordy and evangelism-conceptual, but I think you'll get the drift if you have a go...
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