Shuff shuff
Skins I have shed:
2003: fear of alcohol.
2004: religious exclusivism.
2005: creationism, homophobia.
2006: belief in human depravity, belief in moral absolutes, belief in human separateness from 'nature'.
2007: possessiveness in relationships, fear of sexual expression, fear of using naughty words.
2008: theism, reliance on self-denial as a self-concept, prejudice against mind-altering substances, prejudice against feminism, belief in the 'purity' of my own motives.
2009: monogamy-ism, assumption of own heterosexuality, prejudice against causing pain to others, belief that motives can or should be 'pure'.
2010: reliance on alleged physical inhibition and perpetual 'observer' status as a self-concept, desire for marriage?
So, here I am: a 'woman of the world'. Maybe all I've done is to become progressively more and more normal. Assimilated. Most of those skins were the things that previously set me apart from the surrounding culture. Sometimes I still feel tacky when I swear and drink and flirt and pursue what I want, and fear I'm becoming closed-minded and predictable when I criticise unpopular positions like creationism and homophobia.
But maybe being mindfully normal makes a difference.
Or maybe, given that I am a part of this human organism thing, it's unsurprising and probably positive that what humanity is learning as a collective body is reflected in my individual outlook. So I guess another skin in process of shedding is 'separation from the surrounding culture as a self-concept'.
Or maybe who gives a shit. (oops, trashy)
Oh, also, I still find myself judging others who do these things. Swear and drink and flirt and pursue what they want, and hold conventional opinions. That's why I feel tacky when I do them - because I feel like 'one of them'. Something is out of place.
2003: fear of alcohol.
2004: religious exclusivism.
2005: creationism, homophobia.
2006: belief in human depravity, belief in moral absolutes, belief in human separateness from 'nature'.
2007: possessiveness in relationships, fear of sexual expression, fear of using naughty words.
2008: theism, reliance on self-denial as a self-concept, prejudice against mind-altering substances, prejudice against feminism, belief in the 'purity' of my own motives.
2009: monogamy-ism, assumption of own heterosexuality, prejudice against causing pain to others, belief that motives can or should be 'pure'.
2010: reliance on alleged physical inhibition and perpetual 'observer' status as a self-concept, desire for marriage?
So, here I am: a 'woman of the world'. Maybe all I've done is to become progressively more and more normal. Assimilated. Most of those skins were the things that previously set me apart from the surrounding culture. Sometimes I still feel tacky when I swear and drink and flirt and pursue what I want, and fear I'm becoming closed-minded and predictable when I criticise unpopular positions like creationism and homophobia.
But maybe being mindfully normal makes a difference.
Or maybe, given that I am a part of this human organism thing, it's unsurprising and probably positive that what humanity is learning as a collective body is reflected in my individual outlook. So I guess another skin in process of shedding is 'separation from the surrounding culture as a self-concept'.
Or maybe who gives a shit. (oops, trashy)
Oh, also, I still find myself judging others who do these things. Swear and drink and flirt and pursue what they want, and hold conventional opinions. That's why I feel tacky when I do them - because I feel like 'one of them'. Something is out of place.
posted by Kat | 3/01/2010 02:39:00 am
3 Comments:
I have just recently been thinking that very same, somewhat humilifying thought – finding myself believing much the same as 'everyone' on more and more positions, but being convinced that it's right nonetheless.
I do think it's more valuable to have got there consciously, and therefore to (hopefully) not be stuck there when something even more better shows up.
Ehhh anyway strange times.
I note that you've cast the changes in terms of negatives? Part of me wonders which skins you've taken on? Though the other part of me thinks that it's all about getting to the pure virtue that is underneath all the rubbish.
From my own perspective I have also noticed I've taken on a lot of values others have, but I have also noticed I've retained a great deal my own individuality. While I agree with most people on what is right and wrong, how I conduct myself in individual circumstances can differ a lot. I attribute this to an emphasis on finding what I believe to be best, and following my own direction. Perhaps all this is simply empowerment and self-confidence? Who cares. I am who I am, I do what I want. Well mostly, I'm getting better at it. Today I want to end on a quote; "I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law."
2005 - love for Christians.
2008 - love for God.
Post a Comment
<< Home