Oh so immature

Some of you in particular may appreciate this...
[stolen from a facebook group]

"Mrs Weasley returned from Diagon Alley around six o' clock, laden with books and carrying a long package wrapped in brown paper that Ron took from her with a moan of longing."

"What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed.

There was no need to stick the wand in that hard,’ he said gruffly, clambering to his feet. ‘It hurt.’” (p. 64)

I’m his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be,’ said Snape curtly.” (p. 320)

“Lupin burst out laughing. ‘Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my ‘furry little problem’, in company.’”

"‘I dunno,’ said Harry. ‘Maybe it’s better when you do it yourself, I didn’t enjoy it much when Dumbledore took me along for the ride.’ ” (p. 355)”

"‘You see?’ Dumbledore said quietly, holding his wand a little higher. Harry saw a fissure in the cliff into which dark water was swirling.‘You will not object to getting a little wet?’‘No,’ said Harry.‘Then take off your Invisibility Cloak — there is no need for it now — and let us take the plunge.’ ” (p. 556)”

"...I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago --" "He was asking for it," snarled Dudley."

""I heard you last night," said Dudley breathlessly. "Talking in your sleep. Moaning."

He was on all fours again on Snape's office floor.

"Ah well...wand still in your jeans?"

"Manners, Potter," said Snape dangerously. "Now, I want you to close your eyes." Harry threw him a filthy look before doing as he was told. He did not like the idea of standing there with his eyes shut while Snape faced him, carrying a wand."

"There was a groan of bedsprings, and Harry's mattress descended a few inches as George sat down near his feet."So, got there yet?" said George eagerly."

"...screwing up her eyes each time with the same pained expression she had worn back in Harry's bedroom."

"Ron was lying sprawled on his back with his mouth wide open."

"Quite astonishing, the way you contrive to wriggle out of very tight holes."

"He's having a go at my mother!" Seamus yelled.

He was rather taller than Snape, who, Harry noticed, had balled his fist in the pocket of his cloak over what Harry was sure was the handle of his wand."

"Stand up and take out your wand, Potter."

"I thought not," said Snape, watching him closely. "You let me get in too far. You lost control."

"Ron wrenched the hangings apart, and Harry stared up at him in the moonlight, as he lay flat on his back."

"Yeah, Montague tried to do us during break," said George. "What do you mean, 'tried'?" said Ron quickly.

"Well, we'll soon find out, won't we?" said Snape smoothly. "Wand out, Potter." Harry moved into his usual position...

"But whether James really did take off Snape's pants, Harry never found out."

"...did things with a wand I've never seen before..."

"Snape eyed Harry, tracing his mouth with one long, thin finger as he did so."

"Well?" said Ron finally, looking up at Harry. "How was it?" Harry considered for a moment."Wet." He said truthfully.

"What did he do to you, Diddy?" Aunt Pentunia said in a quavering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley's leather jacket. "Was it-- was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use-- his thing?"

"... every part of him screaming for release, Harry felt the creature use him again..."

"Your father on the other hand favored a mahogany wand. 11 inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration."

"He came last night, when you were in bed," said Mr. Weasley.

"He let out a long, slow breath and stared up at the brilliant blue sky. Every day this summer had been the same: the tension, the expectation, the temporary relief, and then mounting tension again...and always, growing more insistent all the time, the question of why nothing had happened yet."

"Anyway, its a nightmare of a year, the fifth," said George. "If you care about exam results, anyway. Fred and I managed to keep our peckers up somehow."

"Put that away, will you?" said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer. "Before Wormtail wets himself from excitement.""

"I see," said Uncle Vernon, looking from his white-faced wife to Harry and hitching up his trousers. He seemed to be swelling..."

"Ha ha ha, Harry, look at it--" said Ron, watching it disgorge its gaudy innards. "Harry, come and touch it, bet it's weird--"..."Harry, look what's happen--no--no, I don't like it--no, stop--stop--"

"One more lesson like that and I might just do a Weasley."

"...which left Harry free to sit down on the grass between the beech and the bushes and watch the foursome under the tree."

"Kreacher was disappearing through the door to the hall, looking back at them malevolently as he hitched up his loincloth..."

"Harry's heart began to pump very fast indeed. Defence against external penetration?"

"...She pressed hard on the top of his head. "Doesnt it ever lie flat?" she said desperately. Harry shook his head."

"Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering trough various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his wand hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent."

""We're not going to use magic," Ron ejaculated loudly."

"I don't think private matters between myself and the Minister are any concern of yours, Potter," said Malfoy, smoothing the front of his robes. "Really, just because you are Dumbledore's favourite boy, you must not expect the same indulgence from the rest of us...shall we go up to your office, then, Minister?"

“Well-- it’s just that you seem to be labouring under the delusion that I am going to-- what is the phrase?-- come quietly. I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius.”

"Zacharias folded his arms and said nothing, though perhaps this was because he was too busy keeping an eye on the instrument in Fred's hand."

"Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised..."

"...the handle's made of Spanish oak with anti-jinx varnish and in-built vibration controls..."

"Who?" said Harry quickly."Ginny Weasley, " said Katie.Harry gaped at her."Yeah, I know," said Angelina, pulling out her wand and flexing her arm. "But she's pretty good, actually. Nothing on you, of course," she said, throwing him a very dirty look, "but as we can't have you..."

"I was sure if he realized that our relationship was - or ever had been - closer then that of headmaster and pupil..."

"A couple of weeks after his dream of Rookwood, Harry was to be found, yet again, kneeling on the floor of Snape's office..."

... his right, Malfoy's arm extended, too, reaching, groping... It was over in two, breathless, desperate, windswept seconds- Harry's fingers closed around the... ball...

"Both Sirius and Snape lowered their wands... the unexpected entrance of so many witnesses seemed to have brought them to their senses... "But what's going on?" asked Mr. Weasley. "Nothing, Arthur," said Sirius, who was breathing heavily as though he had just run a long distance."

""You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself buying her first wand. 10 and a quarter inches long! Swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work.""