Scandinavia might be worth a try

"...the Danes and the Swedes [are] probably the most godless people on Earth. They don't go to church or pray in the privacy of their own homes; they don't believe in God or heaven or hell. But, by any reasonable standard, they're nice to one another. They have a famously expansive welfare and health care service. They have a strong commitment to social equality. And — even without belief in a God looming over them — they murder and rape one another significantly less frequently than Americans do.

...The Danes and the Swedes, despite being godless, have strong communities. In fact, Zuckerman points out that most Danes and Swedes identify themselves as Christian. They get married in church, have their babies baptized, give some of their income to the church, and feel attached to their religious community—they just don't believe in God."
Does religion make you nice?

Sounds like fun. Maybe our nominally pious but otherwise apathetic grandparents were onto something after all. Guess I could try High Anglican.

Or is there any hope of secular-based community feeling, of the kind one experiences within a religion, developing here in NZ? How do such things come about? What are the ingredients?

In other news, Scandinavia is a funny shape lol